Alright, so it's been mentioned that I've done this whole "School thing" before. So with that in mind, you'd think there would be lessons learned from the first go-round that would transfer to *ding* round two.
Such as....
FUCKING ID PICTURES.
Why do I forget this shit exists every time it rolls around? Honestly, my first time in college I did it both my first and second year. First year I went out with all my new BFFs the night before. Needless to say I looked like a smashed bag of shit the next morning, and after waiting in line for my ID for an hour and a half, trying to hold in the hang-over, I started to resemble the undead.
By the time I had dragged myself in front of the camera guy I had also managed to get all the left-over make
-up from the night before off...of one eye. Yep, just one.
"Smile!" said the underpaid Mr.Grumpypants photographer...I managed to smile with half my face. The result? I looked like a zombie. And not one of those freshly made, right out of the grave, type of zombies. No, the type that's been dead for a month and probably smells like hot dogs that were left out in the hot summer sun for a month. That's what I looked like. That's how my picture came out.
Second year rolled around, same day, lesson not learned. Went out again, the night before. Tried a little more to put some effort into my appearance...and what happened instead was my eyeliner was crooked my hair was cowlicked. It was an improvement from second year, but only in a "downtown Red Deer Casino waitress" sort of way. I may not have looked "undead", but I sure looked down trodden.
So today was book buying day. I had to go buy a parking pass and figured "Might as well get mah ID too"
Here's what I forgot about. I had literally JUST rolled out of bed and sauntered down to the college. My face has gone back to pre-teen, I'm breaking out all over the place and have some seriously blotchy skin going on. Aaaand I didn't wear any make-up. I'm fucking old dude, why would I wear any make-up?
Well, when I was in line, looking around at all the youngin's trob-hoppin' in the hall ways, it came to me. Well, first I noticed how NICE all these kids looked, and thought "What the fuck is this? Prom?". Some of these chicks had some pretty spectacular hair.
Then the lady at the desk waved me forward and said "Stand on the blue line." Then "Smile."
FUCK. FUCKING PICTURES.
Oh no. This one came out much better. The first thing I notice when looking at it, is I didn't smile, I snarled, or bared my teeth. Seriously. The next thing is the mass amounts of pimples, and thirdly, and this is the best thing by far about my picture, is I looked sweaty. I'm not sure if it was the light (lets just say it was the light) or by going back to school I've turned back into a grease ball teenager.
That and for some reason I looked really really tan. Which isn't a good look for me, when I get really tan I turn the same colour as my hair and suddenly I resemble a giant bouncy oompa-loompa.
So that's my picture. A sweaty, pimply, snarling oompa-loompa. Gonna be a gewd year.
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